Employees with children have to make calculated decisions about who they interact with, and when, in order to both produce high-quality work and make time for caregiving. Research shows they tend to do this by avoiding interactions, like turning down invites to lunch; hiding from coworkers by working at home or even sneaking off to the bathroom at a time when everyone else is in a work meeting; organizing interactions strategically by booking meetings back-to-back so that they can promptly end an earlier meeting; and focusing interactions by coming to meetings with set agendas and redirecting conversation from talk of non-work activities. These strategies work, but they can come at a cost: some parents do not feel they have many close friends at work, do not feel a sense of belonging, and are out of the loop on workplace gossip. This can have professional and team ramifications, which both managers and parents can remedy in different ways.

Jenna is stressed. She has to perform some research for a client report, write up part of the report, and leave the office by 5 PM so she can pick up her son from after-school care. Working furiously, she feels she is finally hitting her stride when Seth — her colleague who sits on the same floor — stops by her office to say hi and ask how her weekend was. Jenna smiles and, politely but curtly, states that she had a good weekend. She does not return the question, and Seth leaves. As soon as he exits, she quickly returns to the report.