Welcome to Ask Arlyn, a series in which longtime design editor and decorator Arlyn Hernandez delves into all things home style; from exploring trends to where to buy what. Today, we’re considering monograms on home products: classic detail or dated decor?

Dear Arlyn, I’m thinking of gifting some friends and family home decor items with monograms, but I’m worried it will look dated. What should I know before deciding on custom embroidery? 

My initial reaction to monograms was a quick no. It conjures memories of Vera Bradley bags and popped collars on my college campus in north Florida. But once I took a deep breath and reassessed, I landed on a different answer: They’re okay…sometimes.

Let’s take a look at some of the areas of the home where an embroidered monogram would look traditional and timeless, and where it’s best to skip the custom initials.

The Best (and Worst) Ways to Use a Monogram, According to a Design Expert

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with a monogram and I’m not here to tell you that they should be avoided at all costs. On the contrary, a monogram can be a pretty little moment in your home that feels personal and classic. While it lands decidedly in a certain aesthetic camp—Southern prep, New England prep, traditional formal—it can still have a place in certain rooms even if your style doesn’t fall into those three categories.

Here are some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind:

Do: Keep things small and subtle.

The key to a monogram not feeling like you walked into the home of Emily Gilmore is to go about it in an understated way. It should be a quiet detail on a home decor item, not something that screams who its owner is. An off-center placement, like in the bottom corner of a throw or pillow, can feel classy rather than showy. Go for a single initial rather than first, last and middle (the correct order, by the way). And don’t overlook font choice or color: Opt for something that best suits your design style such as a delicate script in a contrasting color if you lean toward the traditional or a blocky san serif in a monotone shade if you prefer a contemporary look.

Don’t: Overdo it.

There is a time and a place for purposeful excess or maximalism in design. Monograms, in my opinion, are not that moment. What you want to avoid is having one on your throw pillows, on a blanket, on your sofa, on the welcome mat in your foyer, etc. Pick just one spot to display a monogram in any given room or area.

Do: Use them on towels for the kitchen and bathroom.

There’s almost nothing more classic than a monogrammed bath or kitchen towel. It’s a great option for a personalized gift and can be a sweet, fun detail in either space.

Don’t: Put them directly on sofa or chair cushions.

Go big or go home should not be the motto of a monogram. I’ve seen images of rooms with sofas and dining chairs embroidered with initials, and that is an investment I think you can go ahead and skip. Not only is it a bit garish, but it also renders those pieces unsellable if you decide to move on from them down the line. If you must read your initials while you lounge or dine, keep reading.

Do: Add them as small details to cocktail napkins and throw blankets.

Here’s your chance to sneak some personalization into your living and dining spaces in a charming way: add them to linen cocktail napkins, a table runner, or a throw blanket. Another option is to get a single special pillow such as a bolster and pop it onto a window bench seat or reading nook chair, rather than the front-and-center nature of a sofa.

Don’t: Use them for wall art.

A well-designed room can still feel personal without having to advertise to everyone in it who the space belongs to. When the modern farmhouse aesthetic originally became popular, signage as wall art was novel and a staple of a family home in that style. But word art and large wooden monograms quickly became dated. If you want something that lasts, opt for framed photography and prints or canvases that both speak to you personally and add visual interest to your home.

Do: Use them for kids.

There is a lot you can get away with in design when it’s used for kids, including monograms. Not only are they practical for the younger set by helping them learn how to spell their name but customization of blankets (like this one!) and pint-sized chairs (think this wildly popular one) can give children ownership of items in a household with multiple kids. Plus, it would make family movie night pretty dang cute.