The sinking feeling of suspecting infidelity is one of the most painful emotions to endure. Even worse is the lingering doubt that the affair might still be happening.
Detecting whether your partner is lying about cheating can be a challenging and emotional task. While obvious signs like coming home late and smelling of someone else’s perfume or cologne may raise immediate red flags, infidelity often reveals itself in more subtle and nuanced ways. Recognizing these understated warning signs requires attention to changes in behavior, communication, and routines.
1. A reluctance to make significant joint purchases can be a subtle sign of infidelity.
“Commitments like buying a house or car indicate that the other person is in the relationship for the long run,” says licensed family therapist David Klow. While financial concerns could explain your partner’s reluctance, a sudden change in their willingness to commit to joint purchases—especially if it wasn’t an issue before—might be a red flag. This shift could signal that they are emotionally or mentally pulling away, potentially because of infidelity.
“A major commitment makes it more difficult to pull out of a relationship quickly,” adds licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D. So, if your partner becomes defensive or evasive when you ask about their reluctance, don’t hesitate to address it directly. A genuine conversation about their hesitation can provide clarity. However, if their reaction seems overly flustered or their reasoning doesn’t add up—and it’s clearly not about finances—it may be a sign that something deeper is going on.
2. They overshare.
When you casually ask about something like an office party, and your partner responds with an overly detailed account—naming every guest, listing the dishes that were served, and recounting a minute-by-minute rundown—it could be a case of “too much information.”
While it might seem like openness, excessive detail can sometimes be a tactic to overcompensate or distract from the truth, especially if they’re trying to cover up something.
“Liars talk too much,” says Ramani Durvasula. According to the specialist, when someone is telling the truth, their answers are usually straightforward and concise because they don’t require much effort to recall. Cheaters, on the other hand, may craft elaborate stories filled with unnecessary details about where they’ve been or what they’ve done. These lengthy explanations often serve as a fabricated alibi to make their narrative seem more convincing.
3. They start using cash instead of their credit card.
Credit cards are easy to trace, while cash is much harder to track, experts explain. If your partner used to be focused on earning rewards points but has suddenly switched to using cash, it might be worth a conversation.
That said, a change in behavior doesn’t always mean infidelity—there could be a reasonable explanation that has nothing to do with cheating. However, if these patterns seem familiar, and you can’t pinpoint a reason for the shift, it’s important to address the situation. Ideally, there’s a logical explanation for their seemingly shady actions. Either way, you deserve clarity.
4. The phone goes everywhere with them, even to the bathroom.
First, a word of caution: Some people are simply attached to their phones and carry them out of habit or boredom — this doesn’t necessarily mean they’re being unfaithful. The real concern arises if this behavior is a recent change for your partner.
This shift is definitely more alarming, according to Durvasula. “They know that messages from the other person can come at any time,” she explains. If your partner once relied on bathroom magazines to pass the time and suddenly starts turning to their phone, it might be worth paying closer attention.
5. They suddenly develop different taste in music or hobbies.
Maybe they suddenly take up bungee jumping despite having a fear of heights, or start listening to classical music when they’ve always preferred heavy metal, or they become so much fond of cooking, while earlier, all their culinary masterpieces were narrowed to making a fried egg.
While it could be a sign of expanding their horizons, or even a symptom of certain disorders, experts claim that it might be a way of trying to impress someone new by adopting their tastes. “They also become hyper-aware of every detail because they’re infatuated with the person they’re seeing,” an expert adds.
6. When you talk, they rock back and forth. Plus, they start slouching.
By now, you should be comfortable having conversations with each other. However, if your partner is hiding something, pay attention to unusual (and often unconscious) behaviors, advises body language expert Lillian Glass, Ph.D. “Rocking back and forth indicates they’re feeling nervous around you,” she says.
If their previously perfect posture suddenly changes, it could be a red flag. “Hunching over is a form of retreating into the fetal position—something people do when they feel ashamed or know they’ve done something wrong,” the expert claims.
And here’s a woman, who used a simple tampon to check if her partner was cheating on her. Read more to find out what was her genius detective scheme.
